gothchicklit | ( ic ) → contact post for ataraxion

Hey. [ he doesn't want to do this, doesn't know how, but-- he doesn't want to lose their friendship either, not after what happened. though he doubts she'll ever talk to him again, he has to try. ]

Listen, I know I'm probably the last person you wanna ever talk to but- I just, it wasn't me, October. I wasn't myself, and I'm sorry 'bout what went down in the hallway. I know I hurt you, scared you...

So for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

[ Honestly, October's not even sure if she wants to respond to this or acknowledge its existence. In fact, he's right: he is the last person she wants to talk to or think about or anything like that. But the healed bite on her arm (thanks for that, grav couch) that's now a pinker color against her already pale skin is a constant reminder. Even if Dean disappeared tomorrow, she'd remember being in that hallway with him. She'd remember the terror and the pain. (Of course, she'd remember even if she didn't have what seemed to be settling in as a scar.)

So she spends quite a few days ignoring this message after listening to it a few times. She stares at her comm and debates whether it's even worth it to think about responding. But that part, the bit about him not being himself, it's got her interest piqued.

But that doesn't mean he's forgiven, nor does it mean she feels comfortable at all with this. And it's also why she opts for text. She can wait to respond if she wants, or never respond at all, and it won't be awkward. ]

What did you mean, "I wasn't myself?"

[ dean doesn't expect a response, and after a while he gives up waiting for one. not that he can blame her, he's not sure he'd give someone so much as a glance if he'd gone through what she had. the memory of meeting her in the hallway is blurry at best, but the taste of her blood -- the memory of it -- is clear as daylight; unique beyond anything, it had been revitalizing and amazing.

he tries not to think about it, despite how much he wants to.

when she does reply though, he tries to choose his words very carefully. ]

October-- I wasn't like this before. [ before the jump where he'd told her to scram. ] I got-- shit went down back home, and I got the short end of the stick. [ very short end. ]

I wasn't supposed to be in the hallway, but one thing lead to another, and I was out of control, and-- [ he makes a frustrated sound, like no matter what he tries to say it all comes out sound bad. ] I just-- I never meant to hurt you.

[ Yeah, responding was a bad idea, especially since he sticks with the audio function. It's harder to ignore the sincerity in his voice, the guilt, though she's not entirely convinced it's actually legit. For all she knows, he's trying to lure her out so he can finish what he started. Which, of course, makes her stomach turn and is one reason in a long, long list of why she shouldn't respond again.

But she does. Against her better judgement, she texts him back rather quickly. ]

You seriously expect me to believe this?

[ A part of her wants to - she cared about Dean, considered him a friend, thought she could trust him - but the bigger part of her, the part that's causing her hands to shake a little right now, tells her she can't just blindly do so. ]

[ dean sighs. it's never easy to explain anything that goes on in his life, but with this... he owes it to her, as much as he wishes she would just believe him. ]

No, not really. But it's the truth, October. [ whether you want it to be or not. ] You know people can go home durin' a jump, well, that's what happened. I guess... I guess I should've warned people that, I don't know, something like this could one day happen.

[ beat, and another sigh. ] Nobody from my world told me though. Those from the, uh, future, I mean.

Cry me a fucking river, Dean.

[ The text's a little harsh and she doesn't think about it before she sends it, but why should she? He attacked her; she should be free to say whatever the fuck she wants or feels. Of course, there's definitely a part of her that's worried she's going to piss him off and he's just going to come banging down her door.

It's that fear that has her sending a second text about a minute later. ]

Assuming any of this is even true, why are you suddenly turning over a new leaf? You ATTACKED me and didn't even fucking care what happened. Why apologize now?

[ he has to bite back on the frustrated sound. ]

I was out of control, alright-- it was never supposed to happen. Not like that, anyway. And yeah, I didn't give a shit, but I do now.

I'm not expectin' you to forgive me, but just know I wouldn't have done anything like that if I'd had some kinda control. [ not that it excuses anything, but. ]

[ "Not like that." WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, DEAN? ]

That's great. I feel so much better now. We should totally go get some drinks and catch up.

[ Does sarcasm transfer over text at all? If so, he's probably being slapped in the face by it. ]

[ THINGS AND STUFF. ]

Look, I'm sorry it happened, alright? S'all I want you to know.

[ guess that's it for their friendship, huh. ]

Well, I do, so you can leave me alone now.

[ SIGH. ]

Right.

[ click. ]

Edited 2013-10-21 20:45 (UTC)

( ic ) → contact post for ataraxion

audio.

text; SEVERAL DAYS LATER

audio; WAITS LIKE FRY'S DOG 8(

text; SADDEST EVER

audio; ;W;

text;

audio;

text;

audio;

text; SOMEDAY WE'LL FORCE THEM TOGETHER AGAIN and make them deal with this

audio; emphasis on the word force